Yoga for Acceptance

“If someone comes along and shoots an arrow into your heart, it’s fruitless to stand there and yell at the person. It would be much better to turn your attention to the fact that there’s an arrow in your heart…” — Pema Chodron

My beloved Irish grandmother was pragmatic and no-nonsense. She made my dresses from scratch and was as frugal with fabric off-cuts and re-using teabags as though it was still the potato famine. But she was also full of magic, and we spent hours in the garden searching for leprechauns and four-leaf clovers as she lit up with Celtic stories and myths.

The reality of my favourite person passing when I was just eight years old was a brutal introduction to the challenging and profound practice of acceptance. And though she was gone, there was, and still is, so much of her in me. This dichotomy of being both practical and creative — finding steadiness and yet connection to something creative and intangible beyond the mundane — has been the key to understanding what acceptance is.

Steadiness and Faith

One of my favourite Celtic stories is that of the ethereal and striking goddess Rhiannon. Described as magnetic and serene, she appears wearing gold silk, riding a shining white horse, moving at an unhurried pace that no one can catch. She meets and marries a prince and gives birth to a baby boy. However, she is wrongly accused of killing her newborn, and though she is innocent, all the evidence suggests otherwise.

Rhiannon accepts her punishment with humility and surrender. As penance, she carries visitors on her back from the castle gates. She persists with dignity, anchored in the truth of who she knows she really is. When her son is later found alive and she is vindicated, Rhiannon seeks no revenge, just peace. Her power lies not in passivity, but in the strength to meet suffering with steadiness and faith in life’s unfolding.

This mirrors two key teachings from Patanjali’s Yoga Sutra:

• Ishvara Pranidhana: Surrendering to what is and offering it up in deep trust to something greater than ourselves.

• Sthira sukham asanam: The balance of steadiness and ease that Patanjali prescribes.

Acceptance is not resignation. It is steeping in deep trust, remaining steady in the face of misunderstanding, walking with grace when the world misjudges us, and letting strength arise from endurance as Rhiannon does.

Holding to Who You Are

The ancient Greek and Roman philosophers, the Stoics, also believed that holding to who you are is paramount. They suggested we practice acceptance and be clear on our ethics, acting in accordance with those no matter what. Seneca said that true peace comes from recognising what you can and cannot control. We cannot control external circumstances, but we master our reaction to them. We can harness our capacity to stay steady, connected to our centre, and live a life of integrity.

Dharma and Walking a Path We Didn’t Choose

Another key theme we see in the Gita is dharma — purpose, path, or duty. Part of the yoga practice involves getting clarity so we understand what our dharma is. When we know our dharma and act in a way congruous with it, we can live a life of meaning.

Sometimes, we don’t choose our dharma; it chooses us. Life happens and sends us on a different path. We may find ourselves, like Arjuna in the Gita, standing on a battlefield we didn’t sign up for and really don’t want to be on. When Arjuna is paralysed by the reality of having to fight his own family, Krishna doesn’t suggest escape. He tells Arjuna this is his dharma. He may not have chosen this path, but it has chosen him.

This is where acceptance lives — in recognising that this is our life. We acknowledge where we are at and do our best in that moment. Rather than desiring for things to be other than they are, we skillfully choose how to respond. The inner battlefield — the one in our mind — is often the hardest to navigate.

Interrupting the Noise

Patanjali tells us the citta (mind) whirls in a vrtti or rotational way. Thoughts go around and around, getting stuck in a loop. Often, the thoughts that get in the way of acceptance are the “buts”: “But it’s not my fault,” “But it’s not fair,” “But it’s not what I planned.”

Sadhana, or conscious practice, can nirodhah (interrupt) that circuit. Pranayama (breath control), dharana (concentration), dhyana (meditation), and asana (poses) are practical ways to unstick thoughts. We get on the mat and move, or sit in meditation and observe the body as it is, letting go of attachment to what it is or is not. As we modify poses and the breath, we get a break from the barrage of thoughts. We notice the mind wander and gently, lovingly bring it back to the present moment instead.

Self-Acceptance

Acceptance of others starts with being okay with yourself. As you observe the breath, body, and mind without judgement, you foster self-acceptance. Then we go deeper, looking at all the parts of ourselves we reject. By practicing yoga, we learn to accept each moment and experience as it is, knowing it too shall pass, like all things do.